There's often an evaluation point and each of you will end up sort of testing the other ("well, I'm not going to text", "I'll let them arrange the next meeting" etc etc) and everyone starts communicating by subtext as everyone's to afraid to be direct, because it all comes across as too full on otherwise. Remember this is still very early days, try and take things as calm as you can, occupy yourself with other things to do when you're not seeing her. It's a hard thing though, you want to let her know you're interested and yet you don't want to come off as clingy, and on the other hand you don't want to come across as disinterested so mixed messages abound.

Try and send her a text arranging to meet in about a weeks time so it doesn't look too urgent and see if she goes for it. Then when you do see her just ask her if she fancies doing something the week after. If she says she's busy or anything like that, ask her to get in touch when she's free. If nothing comes of that and she doesn't come back within a week then you can probably assume she's not ready for anything right now. There's lots of reasons someone may not want to get into a relationship and you musn't take it as a personal thing even if it feels like it.

You just have to move on and make sure if there's any lessons to be be learnt from this experience (and more importantly any other relationships you've had). Really challenge yourself - there's too many good people making the same mistakes over and over and ending up in relationships and staying in them out of fear rather and convenience than for any good reason - I don't want that for anyone!

That's all my wisdom for today - take it easy mate!

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thanks man.i think i gotta let it go though now.i still havn't heard anything from her.i've texted her a couple o' times in the last week (not heavy in my opinion) and not heard anything at all.i'm frustrated cos i don't know what i've done.i took her to the zoo,paid and i know she had a good time,but she's just forgotten all about me or so it seems.it's frustrating cos i'd at least like to be told if she's not interested.even if it's just a text,but alas i'll just have to move on and wonder what it was i guess.

i have to admit though this has hit me at a really bad time.my confidence was already pretty low and now it's dive bombed. *sigh*

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As I said mate, there's a hundred different reasons to not want to be in a relationship - it doesn't mean it's anything to do with you per se. I've turned down relationships and indeed maybe not dealt with the "not ready" aspect very well, but it wasn't necessarily that I didn't like them, but it's better to do it than hurt the person more by entering into it for the wrong reasons.

Try not to take it too personally if you can, you haven't done anything wrong.

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